torien (torien) wrote,
torien
torien

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shrink

ok so i went to my 1st shrink apptment in a long long time and when they said what are you looking for??? i said i wanted someone like sean off good will hunting. someone who would say i think not and so on. or that i was full of shit. i don't want someone to hold my hand and say i'm sorry all that fucked up shit happend to you now what do u think about it? that makes me wanna scream.
this guy didn't do this he sat me down and said
< so what bring you here? >
<
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ok so i went to my 1st shrink apptment in a long long time and when they said what are you looking for??? i said i wanted someone like sean off good will hunting. someone who would say i think not and so on. or that i was full of shit. i don't want someone to hold my hand and say i'm sorry all that fucked up shit happend to you now what do u think about it? that makes me wanna scream.
this guy didn't do this he sat me down and said
< so what bring you here? >
<<i don't know really>>
<well don't u think u should know?>
<<well i guess>>
<so what do u hope to get out of this?>
<<well i have to many bottons,and when they get pushed i don't like it>>
<so what happends when a botton gets pressed?>
<<i don't know. things just bug me for days, and i can't sleep>>
<ok>
<so are you on meds>
<<no haven't found one that works for me>>
<well do u wannna be on meds?>>
<<i don't know>>
<<i like being manic, when i can >>
<well being manic is like being a JUNKING AND saying i like drugs i just don't like paying for it>
<<well i don't do drugs>>
<well more ppl die each year from bipolar then say a coke habit>
<i just don't see it>
<well how about you come back next week, with a list written down with what you want out of this cuz i can't see why your here if everything is working out for you>
(this is where i start crying for no reason)
<<i just want to feel ok in my skin>>
<well how are you going to do that?>
<<i don't know there are to many flood gates, don't you think it could kill a girl>>
<i've never seen anybody walk away more broken then before they came here>
<i'm not going to bring you to a unsafe place till i'm sure your safe. >
<<so when do i know i'm safe>>
< when things seem more in control>
<i'm not going to have you bring up something painful with out knowing you'll be alright>
<<ok then>>
<alright here's the thing, no bull shit you fuck around and don't go on meds i won't see you>
(ok is it just me or is that a little harsh???)
<ok then>
and that was my shrink appt.
fucked up hey.
i hated him while he busted my chops however i loved the fact that he didn't let me short change myself and pussyfoot out of it. ugh....
maybe it was the love sick reject thing, i know that works with jeff and with this guy i wanna help you however ... so hmmm ok then i should bounce
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