torien (torien) wrote,
torien
torien

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bad morning

ok so i went to that wonderful person who tells you how to eat. who says this is a meal and this is how much a girl your age should eat and how much of this you need and so on.
we talked for about 2 mintues i shit you not and it was like, you hight 5'7 your weight ### not sharing here sorry. then it was like how much do you work out, well i guess i go walking about 2 times a week for about 1/2 a hour. then it turned in to ok on a normal day what do you eat??
"well depends on where i'm at inside my head"
either i'm gaining 100lbs or losing 100lbs"
so your food controls you?
"yes"
oh well that's a eatting disorder dear and i can't really help u with that so i won't bill u for this appointment however lets see what i can show you and it was all shit we kinda learned in highschool the food chart and things of that sort. i don't know she gave me a card of someone who works with eatting disorder and asked me to call but said she wasn't sure she took my insur. and that if she didn't i should save up and go see her. i just laughted inside my head. took my little info pack it and was like thank u.
however the nice post note to this and the thing that will stick in the back of my head more so then anything else is going to be the damn slip that my pill doctor wrote for me to see this damn lady, saying that obsity was the reason not eatting isssues not, not eatting disorder, but fucking obsity as if i haven't lost over 50lbs in less then 3 months. as if my mind isn't fucked up when it comes to eating this is what he writes down. ugh.......
so be it fuck it i don't care i am whatever it is i am
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