torien (torien) wrote,

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brandons progress notes

well how is it i pay brandon 125 bucks a week and i end up on here anyways .... lol well i got chucked in a half ass way and it was kinda funny to me.
i went in there and said this was my half week cuz i just saw him thursday and it's tuesday and he went well damn girl, your never lacking things to do are you?
he backed me on the guy who attacked me outside the bar, if anything the cops where going to do nothing then rip into me for being out at 3am and shit like that, cuz cudahy is a fucked up city. then he said jeff may of been trying to help but he should of asked what i wanted to do, not just order me around and if he was so worried note how he hasn't call so whatever.....
then yo and chris whille they bring up some points about my eating habits coming from her it's insulting, also i don't buy the fact that they care i think they just want shit to talk about to make themselves feel better. and that shit about pathfinders there fucking wrong to have given me the that look like i was a monster who was going to hurt those kids, it wasn't them questioning me on it i could of took that, it was them giving me that look of fear. ugh....
my homeowrk last week for brandons was to bring in food log and i didn't do it, cuz i went this is going to look bad cuz i was pretty much binge eating all week and on paper it looked massive and i freaked. so i ripped it up and he didn't like that one. he was like ummmm... so do i need to send you to eating disorder place??? no.... is all that came out of my mouth he needs to stop asking me that cuz one of these days i might fuck up and say yes and then what i lose brandon.... fuck that...
how hard is it to eat like a normal girl? fuck ? but i can't or i haven't in a long time. i can't think of how to. this somkes money pole.
so yeah then i told him it was hard to hate yourself that this much it leaves you on the floor and he was like yeah well you up a lot of time into it miss thing. then he was home work, oh god, term paper i swear write what i'm prepared to in order to start liking myself and things i already startinged to do and no like half answers he wants shorts term goals long term, thoughts so on.... and a food log or i can't come back. so groovy beans but he knows i'll do i did but he drives me nuts i'm shadow boxing in there. he kicks my ass, i'd just like to walk out of there not crying or where i haven't cried that would be good.
then to top of it i don't see him for two weeks now so ugh... so i not seem like i don't need my shrink ugh......
yeah well i'm bitching about nothing i'm a little co-dependent on my shrink who drives me fucking nuts , i think even frud who say i have issues lol i need to go
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